I See Dumb People

I believe it is essential in life for every person to have two things: A hobby and an opinion. Now for some* narrow-minded people who will cling to my every word, I would like to clarify that there are other important things in life as well; but now I will write about (and I repeat) having a hobby and an opinion.
When I got the opportunity to write my own column, I was pleasantly surprised that more than 1000 people in Lebanon actually read; and like every other writer; I have received positive feedback and negative remarks (some that are very politely and respectfully written, and others, . . . well . . . ). Once again, to the narrow-minded ones; I do not mean “read” as in “A-B-C-D-E”, I mean it in the sense that you actually take the time to buy a book that you can: read before sleeping, read on a plane, read while lying down by the pool.
I was even more happy to know that while browsing the internet, some* people decided to navigate away from Facebook, Youtube, poker, and/or porn sites to take a few minutes to read online (it must have been difficult, so good job!). Most Readers understand my point of view, don’t take it too seriously, laugh about it, and move on with their lives. Some* readers though apparently have two-digit IQ’s and cannot comprehend a sentence that exceeds 4 words, so they understand 10 words out of 600, find themselves super offended, and start dreaming up ways of how to make me cry. The closest they can get is something that sounds like this:

“Who you sink you are? you have no right to over-generaleyes, because not all people like zis. best luck for your write because you suck! You suck! You suck! People don’t believe zis *****, hear me instead because iz clear zat I know what I am talk about! . . . You Suck!”
 Signed, Big F to the A to the G.

Oh . . . Shut up . . . and please write this down on a piece of paper and swallow it: “I must learn how to understand what I am reading, in terms of its content and message. I must also take some English classes and learn how to write before I attempt to express another lonely thought through writing. Finally, I must buy my very first book, ‘Freedom of Speech for Dummies’ and acknowledge the fact that I am indeed, a dummy”.

(When someone gives me a remark like the one above, the only pain I feel is from the strain in eyes and brain while I desperately try to understand and decipher what I am reading.)

So, back to the beginning: Hi, my name is Rita Dahdah. I am an average person that loves to express her opinions through writing. Writing is my hobby, and my articles (opinion pieces) will remain MY opinion forever; I promise that they will never become a written law that would forbid some* of you from acting like the idiots that you are.
You don’t have to accept my opinion, but you must respect it (it is part of being civilized). If you have something to say, start a blog and spread the word.
Food for thought #1: even if there’s no law against the behavior I am mocking, reasonable people will still laugh at it.
Food for thought #2: if some* of you find yourselves awfully offended after reading something I wrote, it is quite probable that you fall right into the category I am mocking (even if you have super-duper English and a three-digit IQ, you are not entitled to be a “holier than thou” philosophizer who feels the need to argue about air).
That being said, I want to thank all of you who are reading “La Wlooo” on a weekly basis, and I hope that you’re enjoying reading it as much as I’m enjoying writing it.
Lebanon has so much talent; whether it’s an upcoming designer, painter, sculptor, singer, actor (you know, the interesting jobs that make NO money in this country), let’s support each other, help each other fulfill our dreams, and show the world what Lebanon is really made of.
Peace everyone; keep your hearts beautiful and your minds drama-free.

*some: this precaution was taken so that some people don’t end up getting a gum inflammation because of over-generalization.

 “When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I feel like saying something, I say it.” Madonna

Homage to My Blog

In an attempt to vent and de-stress, I started my blog about a week ago. Naturally, I shoved it down my friends’ throats in every possible way; bombarding them with text messages, bbm’s, emails, msn messenger, and so on. Some liked it and some were very indifferent about it  - of course I attributed this to their short attention spans, inability to read anything (including road signs), and their dedicated “online time” that is exclusive to browsing Facebook, Youtube, and/or playing online poker.

One thing that many of my friends said to me was, “don’t you think it’s too honest, hurtful, and personal?” (Why the drama?)

. . . Pause . . .

So, I decided to dedicate this blog to answering the above question once and for all.

First of all, I will tackle the matter of “Don’t you think it’s too honest?”
Answer: What the heck do you mean “too honest”?!
You are either an honest or a dishonest person, but of course in the society I am living in, I find myself obliged to slice up, break down, dissect, and analyze the 892 meanings to the word HONESTY.
To name a few:
The white lie: I am sorry people – a lie is a lie. The people to whom you are “white lying” to will eventually find out and create so much drama out of it in order to victimize themselves (that way, you will owe them your soul for life and you’ll never hear the end of it).
The delayed truth: Ah yes, ‘tis the truth that shalt cometh. You see, here, the truth is released in stages. Stage 1: you lie. Stage 2: you get caught, so you reveal 10% of the truth by supporting it with the 90% of stage 1’s lie. Stage 3: you get caught again (follow stage 2’s procedure) and this is when you are given the ultimatum: this is your last chance to tell the truth. Stage 4: your guilt pushes you to finally tell the overdue truth, so from this point on you will continue to release bits and pieces of the truth over long durations of time until it is finally out!
The pleasant truth: I’ll go ahead and give an example on this one: Buttercup returned to Lebanon after a year of living abroad, having gained 1 kilo for each day she was gone. You see, she was probably competing with planet earth as to who could actually have a larger radius. The truth: she had become FAT, as opposed to, the pleasant truth which was told to her by friends and family, “You have gained a bit of weight, but it suits you oh so much - you’re simply glowing!” Glowing? She’s not pregnant for frick’s sake, she’s just fat! Well, after Buttercup eventually lost all that weight and five sizes off her jeans, she entered a state of shock regarding how fat she was and couldn’t help but wonder why no one made it clear to her.
The hurtful truth: this in fact is the truth as it is - nothing more, nothing less. Sadly enough, the reason it is labeled “hurtful” is because people’s ears are so accustomed to hearing the same monotonous bullsh**, that when they do eventually hear something different, it cuts like a knife.

Now, to the issue of “Don’t you think it’s too hurtful?”
Answer: Frankly no – I think it’s quite funny. It is only hurtful to those involved in the embarrassing stories (with names changed to maintain discretion of course). I did get a phone call once from one of the involved people in a blog of mine, and although he seemed to be quite upset about it, we both greatly benefitted from this experience: He learnt never to behave in that ridiculous manner again because he’d be made fun of. As for me, I laughed about it for hours - and thus receiving a lot of positive energy from the universe. I for one have been criticized, insulted, and crushed by many people – it has only made a better and stronger person. As a result, I believe that indicating people's flaws and mistakes will greatly improve them (so let’s all work together to make the world a less annoying and brain dead place to live in).
Please note that I do not intentionally hurt or try to change anyone. When and if I do, it is for a greater cause – a higher purpose – because if I refrain from speaking my mind, that person will one day have children that exhibit those characteristics, and one day those children will have children of their own, and so on.

This brings me to the third dilemma, “Don’t you think it’s too personal?”
Answer: What is personal anymore these days? For instance, I know a circle of friends, the Queen Bees – they all share each others’ secrets carefully . . . with the rest of the world. Also, sharing your every step on Facebook is much more personal than blogging about funny experiences and your perspective about the world around you (although I’m guilty of both). Since we already have more than enough Facebookers, I truly wish there were more people out there who took 15 minutes a day to observe what’s going on around them, and then took another 15 minutes to reflect on what their thoughts about it are.

After covering the honest, hurtful, and personal elements, I would like to emphasize on the THINK element in that question.
A couple of days ago, Mojo Pin told me that he feels lonely in his thoughts because he is unable to share them with anyone or to conform to the masses. I honestly felt bad for him but mostly, I felt bad for most of the people around me who are so happy being sheep; being told what they should like, eat, drink, wear, and say.
People’s thoughts should be different, and each person’s insight should be shared with others because a change in perspective from time to time is very healthy for us as individuals and for the world as a whole. If we all thought the same way, we would all still be living in caves without any electricity. Think about it.

For those of you (and you know who you are) who still understand the meaning of depth, individuality, and intellect, I would like you to repeat this prayer every night before you go to bed:

“I thank you God for giving me a brain. I am fully aware of how that used to be part of the package but is now unfortunately an added option that not everyone has the privilege of having.”

Ps. I do not care if my blogs are too long – they are not intended for people with ADHD.

"When we talk in company we lose our unique voice, and this leads us to make statements which in no way correspond to our real thoughts." Friedrich Nietzche