Daddy’s Girl, “Bint el Pap”

After more than a decade of living in Lebanon, I found that dividing people up into genres makes it easier for me to identify and deal with them. Although we are all somehow Daddy’s Girls (and it is great), within this genre lies the most annoying species known to mankind: the LEBANESY “yiiyy yaaayy ya alla” Daddy’s Girl, also known as “Bint El Pap”. I came across this shocking species of girls a few months ago (the 8th world wonders) and wanted to share the horror with you.

Bint El Pap is . . . useless. All she cares about is appearances, so she invests every ounce of her time and energy into looking good. Ironically, she has zero sense of style and at 20, ends up looking like a 45 year old woman. Even when going out for coffee, Pap’s Girl will wear all her makeup and accessories, her highest heels, and madame-like clothes (adequate for attending a wedding). Since these Pap’s Girls only care about flaunting brands, most of what they wear is fake; but they will continue to show off at how they spend over 10,000 US dollars on shopping each month (here’s a tip: people that specify the amount of money without being asked, are peasants!)

Whenever Pap’s Girl buys or might buy something new, she announces it to all humanity. In her nagging voice (made of the heaviest matter) she asks, “yyyyyiiiiiiiiiiiiiii . . . What car should I buyyyyyyyyy? This one? That one? The other one? The next one?” (As if anyone cares)
After being asked about her budget, she pompously refers to herself in the third person and responds, “Yyyyyiiiiiiiiii walawwwwww?? Bint el Pap ma 3anda budget 3end el Pap” (translated: Me, airhead. Pap, Bill Gates).

Among the other things that Pap doesn’t set a budget for, is a new nose for his stunning petite goat. She gets rhinoplasty and/or breast enlargement surgery done before she is 18. The sooner she stops looking like she has a bird’s beak instead of a nose, the sooner she can start blossoming into the divine flower that she is. She will also undergo full body laser hair removal (since she is hairier than a baboon) and live on a never-ending diet so that her bum-bum continues to fit in her “designer” jeans.

To continue reading, please follow this link:

http://www.beirutnightlife.com/news/la-wlooo-daddys-girl-bint-el-pap/

I am now writing a weekly column called "La Wlooo!!", which is a new section on BeirutNightLife.com that provides a light mockery of the silly things happening around us every day.
Don't take it seriously, after all, it is simply a breath of fresh air – stating the obvious with a bit of humor and a change of perspective.