Nine months ago after I wrote about how the Blackberry changed my life (to the worse), I decided to pick my battles; and so I chose to disregard my friends’ excessive blackberry consumption while we’re out together, even if it meant that I would be ignored on several occasions (but still, that would give me much pleasure and time to check my Facebook and ASW notifications, e-mails, BBM messages and status updates, MSN and What’s App messages – yes, I’m semi-retarded).
BUT, there is always that one person who irritates the life out of me with their 476 blackberry status updates and their 498 broadcast messages per day!
WHY?!
We can all go crazy ONCE IN A WHILE and feel the need to update our statuses 9 times per day, or send funny, meaningless broadcast messages to our friends; but that is not what I am talking about. I am talking about out of this world psychotic behavior. For instance, there are these 2 (more like 6) girls on my BBM list that update their statuses faster than they can say “I’m an annoying freak of nature that must stop scaring people!”
One of them, Ms. Merry Berry updates her status every 4.5 minutes. Allow me to demonstrate:
“I am flying”
“I am flying high”
“I am flying hghh in the sky” (she realizes she made a typo and corrects it)
“I am flying high in the sky”
“I am flying so high in the sky” (it’s all about emphasis)
“I am flying so high in the sky :)”
“I am flying so high in the sky :) :)”
“I am flying so high in the sky :) :) :)” (as I said, emphasis)
Okay, I believe you!
Till today, I still ask myself two questions:
1. Does Ms. Merry Berry realize that people can see her going psycho 12 times
per hour?
per hour?
2. Was I temporarily insane when I accepted her friend request?
3. How oh how can I delete her without hurting her merry, twitchy, little feelings?
To all the merry berry people out there: please tone down the creepiness (for the sake of your keypad and your self-respect!)
There’s also Ms. Scary Berry who always seems to be starring in a blockbuster horror/thriller/suspense movie:
“Oh nooooooooooooo”
“It’s sooooo bbbaaaddddddd”
“It’s sooooo painfullllllllll”
“What will I dooooooo?”
“I’m dyinngggggggggg”
“Noooo wayyyyyyyyyyyy”
“Helllppp meeee”
After my rage and exasperation subsided, a feeling of overwhelming curiosity swept over me, so I asked Ms. Hitchcock what’s wrong. She then told me that she was experiencing severe menstrual pains (privacy much?); I couldn’t help but wonder what she told her 200 other contacts that must have asked her the same question for the same reasons that I did!
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