Facebook Is Out Of Control!

Every Monday, I post a link to my column on hundreds a few of my friends’ walls, and recently, I must have pissed someone off (Mark Zuckerberg perhaps?) and have lost my “posting URL’s” privileges (I know, what the f***, right?). I received several warnings that my “behavior may be considered abusive to others” and that I may be a spammer or something of the sort (a Facebook robot perhaps) and let me tell you this: I have never been more offended IN-MY-LIFE!
It gets better; even my regular posts are being monitored now and I am not allowed to write words such as: “F***, S***, God, or Hell”. I once wrote the word God and received a warning that said “your comment cannot be posted as some of its content may be considered abusive to others” – oh well, sorry Facebook!! I’m sorry, I didn’t know that so many devil worshippers were monitoring my profile and felt offended when I mentioned God! It’s not possible for anyone to hate Facebook more than I do, and after this, I am waging war (against a social network that only exists in my life because I am so pathetically addicted to it). Since Facebook is complaining about my behavior, I would like to return the favor.

Facebook is Nosy: you are asked to provide information about your phone number, home town, current city of residence, job CV, siblings, parents, birthday, who and what you are interested in – Jeez! What’s next, my shoe size? Facebook also wants to know what I’m planning, places I’ve checked in, and wants me to track who is on Facebook because of me. With the new “See Friendship” button, we can all agree that you can find out anything you want about two selected friends and write a full investigative report about their lives. Let’s not forget that most of these people are only best friends on Facebook, and have probably seen each other twice in the past 5 years. Thanks to these invasive informative techniques, I can now receive 500 “Happy Birthday” messages from people who completely forgot I exist – thank you Facebook.

Facebook is Creepy: What’s up with the “photo memories”? I have old photos (of when I was 10 kgs LARGER) that I have erased from my memory; but unfortunately, Facebook hasn’t forgotten about them. Every 2 or 3 days, I see a familiar round, pudgy face staring back at me from the upper right corner of my Facebook page . . . WTF?! The upper right corner also brings you ancient photos of your friends (also looking very bizarre) and I always wonder what the point of that is. I also wonder how many of my “friends” saved my ugly photos only to circulate and laugh about them. The worst is when a stalker steals one or more of these wretched photos to create a fake profile.
What I hate most is the horror of connecting to Facebook applications. For example “Tag ‘em may access my data when I’m not using the application” – Umm yes, I really want the Tag ‘em team snooping through my computer while I’m sound asleep at night. After contacting Tag ‘em, it was clarified that all they wanted is access to my Facebook account in order to publish the questions I’ve just answered. Cheers to how Facebook frightened the daylights out of me with its warning message though. 

To continue reading, please follow this link:

http://www.beirutnightlife.com/featured/la-wlooo-facebook-is-out-of-control/

I am now writing a weekly column called "La Wlooo!!", which is a new section on BeirutNightLife.com that provides a light mockery of the silly things happening around us every day.
Don't take it seriously, after all, it is simply a breath of fresh air – stating the obvious with a bit of humor and a change of perspective.