Radar State of Mind

Watch me cry with fear jump for joy as I hear the news of the “radars in Lebanon”; a 100 kmph speed limit on highways, and a 50 kmph speed limit on inner city roads. I am one of the few people I know that has actually gotten speeding tickets in Lebanon (before the radars were installed of course). I’ve heard rumors that once I get my third speeding ticket, my driver’s license will be revoked (can anyone please confirm that for me? If it’s only a rumor, I’d love to know!). The new law involves imprisonment and/or not being able to drive for up to 6 months (oh mon dieu, can you imagine showing up at a restaurant or club in a taxi?)

While driving, whenever I hear the sound of a siren, I die a little. I fear that it could be a police car chasing after me (for speeding, for talking on the phone, for not wearing my seat belt, etc) but it always turns out to be one of the following:
a) Two police men (Frick and Frack) in their police car, feeling the need to overtake my car because I’m driving too slow (?!?!?!?) so they blast the siren and speed at 120 kmph (not even on a highway, but on smaller roads). Yes, Lebanese policemen are the ideal example of law enforcement. They are high on power trips and find it necessary to show everyone that they have mucho grande cojones (aka, big brains balls).
b) A wazwaz-mobile with the “zammour el khatar” installed in it; because the wazwaz’s dad has connections to “I don’t know who in I don’t know what”. Does anyone understand the stupidity significance of this?
c) My paranoia.

The Lebanese people, always looking for the plan B and the loophole in every situation, will not rest till they take matters into their own hands – a la libanaise. A week after the radars were installed, radar detectors were already being shipped into the country. A friend told me, “You want to speed? Speed! It will cost you a little more, but I can get you a radar detector from the states. That way you can slow down when you approach the radar.” Ok, so let me get this straight: I’m going to pay much more than 50,000 L.L. to purchase a radar detector so that I can go from 180 kmph to 100 kmph in 5 seconds (and potentially kill myself and all three motorists driving behind me) all so I avoid a measly speeding ticket? Isn’t it a bit less complicated to just abide the law?

To continue reading, please follow this link:

http://www.beirutnightlife.com/news/la-wlooo-radar-state-of-mind/ 

I am now writing a weekly column called "La Wlooo!!", which is a new section on BeirutNightLife.com that provides a light mockery of the silly things happening around us every day.
Don't take it seriously, after all, it is simply a breath of fresh air – stating the obvious with a bit of humor and a change of perspective.