After watching enough video clips for some of our new Lebanese female exhebitionists singers, I have come to terms with one truth: their voice was not their claim to fame. Beauty is no longer understood. When did it become acceptable for women to parade around looking like pin up dolls who just got abused by a makeup brush followed by a wardrobe catastrophe? Are these monsters celebrities acting as role models for both girls my age and older women who cannot understand the concept of “older”? If they’re not the reason, then what’s the cause of all this vulgarity I see everywhere?
My own analysis would be that these shemales females have forgotten the difference between sexy and vulgar, so I’ve taken the liberty of writing down 10 commandments for women in this department.
My own analysis would be that these shemales females have forgotten the difference between sexy and vulgar, so I’ve taken the liberty of writing down 10 commandments for women in this department.
Thou Shalt Not look like a Ho:
1. Thou Shalt Not wear leggings with a short shirt: Don’t be so astonished. It is incorrect for you to walk around wearing something so tight without covering your va-jay-jay area. Reason #1: You will have a cameltoe. Reason #2: Men will say: “She has a cameltoe”. Reason #3: Every man who sees you will have one thought – that you’re a ho. To remember this, repeat “cameltoe equals ho”.
2. Thou Shalt Not wear clown makeup: Believe it or not, make up should be discreet; i.e. it should bring out your features, not hide them under a 13 cm layer of muck. Please refrain from drawing black circles around your eyes – you are a lady, not a raccoon. Also, please try not to look like Mimi from the Drew Carey Show (pink + blue + red + green = clown = not sexy). To remember this, repeat “if my eyes do not show, then I look like a ho”.
3. Thou Shalt Not have inflatable breasts: It’s a shocker ladies, but men indeed do not like anything bigger than a natural C cup. Can you imagine a man introducing Ms. Fake ‘D cup’ to his mother? “Hey mom, meet the breasts. My girlfriend is standing right behind them.” The only thing he will introduce her to is his bed. Also, for those who have a smaller chest, please do not wear those scary push up bras for the cleavagy-ho look. Breasts cannot defy gravity and their place is below the neck, not adjacent to the chin. Every man I know finds that cheap. To remember this, repeat “What happens in bed stays in bed (including my scary push up bra and everything else that makes me look like a porno ho)”.
4. Thou Shalt Not wear vulgar bras with transparent straps: Please enough with this “trend” already. If I had the time, I would walk into every lingerie store and confiscate them! It is so vomit-inducing when a girl is wearing a backless shirt with a bra that has transparent straps (that always look dirty for some reason). Hence, it is NOT invisible; it is nasty! I don’t care what part of the bra is transparent, say NO to the ho look. If it has rhinestones on the straps, say NO to the ho look. If it has transparent straps AND rhinestones, be sure it’s for a ho. To remember this, repeat “If I want my bra to show, I’m a ho”.
5. Thou Shalt Not wear vulgar shoes:Category 1: 15 inch heels: Especially if your toes are ugly. How can you know? Check your second toe; if it’s crooked and sticking out, hide it. Please make sure that walking in heels makes you look sexy; if you’re waddling as if you’re a dinosaur about to fall, cut 10 inches off your heels or stay home where no one can laugh at you. To remember this, repeat “I am a graceful lady, not a dino-ho”.
Category 2: cheap leather shoes: 1) you will be scarred with bunions for the rest of your life, 2) they are so trashy, and 3) your heel will break as a punishment from the universe. To remember this, repeat: “Shiny black garbage bags belong in the dumpster, not on my precious feet”.
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