As the New Year dawns on us, we bid farewell to the festive season and not so eagerly welcome the extra pounds that we’ve put on thanks to all the food, alcohol, and bûche de noel. I for one enjoyed overdrinking and overeating like a jolly pig every night for three weeks as if Armageddon was approaching . . . I guess a little too much celebrating, too little exercise, and dose of karma (since I always mock fat people) caught up with me a couple of weeks ago – and while I was in denial, believing that I was suffering from a major case of water retention, the reality of the situation (a.k.a. my jeans) proved that I had simply gained weight! I noticed that so many people I know were going through the same thing and are now running to the gym and to their dietician for some hardcore damage control, “yiii, yaaayyyyy, ya allah, I must lose my extra weight . . . before summer . . . so I can wear my swimming suit”.(lame much?)
I shall call this “a sensitive time” during which we should all show some compassion for each others’ mishap and try to watch our words and behavior as much as we can to avoid tears, anger, and misunderstandings. I for one, vow to not make fun of any fat person anymore . . . at least until this “sensitive time” is over.
I shall call this “a sensitive time” during which we should all show some compassion for each others’ mishap and try to watch our words and behavior as much as we can to avoid tears, anger, and misunderstandings. I for one, vow to not make fun of any fat person anymore . . . at least until this “sensitive time” is over.
Don’t offer a fat kid chocolate cake: These words of wisdom are helpful to every weight-watcher out there. The worst thing you can do to a dieting person is to offer them anything that looks, sounds, or tastes delicious. Same applies to you – if you have a certain friend who knows you’re on a diet, yet doesn’t cease to offer you sugar and spice and all that’s nice, it can only mean one of two things: 1) Your friend is an insensitive, selfish swine who is inconsiderate about your feelings and your cravings. 2) Your friend is devising a master plan to purposely prevent you from losing your extra weight. In any case, stay away from the cake-feeder. In case you’re a cake-feeder yourself, trust that you are hated by so many.Don’t offer vodka to an alcoholic: Let’s face it, most people would stop eating for 3 days in order to binge drink a bottle of vodka – especially when they’re on a “strict diet” (what a way to puncture a hole in your stomach). If you know you have a love affair with bottles of booze, simply stay away from them or limit your drinking to once a week. There is no way that you can be at a bar or a club, surrounded by alcohol-guzzling friends (while you’re sitting there like an old geezer) and not feel the temptation to sneak a sip* (*five drinks). The next day you will only wake up with a headache and a guilty conscience, so steer clear of the booze! In case you’re one of those “Know-it-all” morons who insist that alcohol doesn’t make you gain weight, I’d love it if you could also try to disprove the law of gravity – since you’re so darn bright.
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